Life + Simplicity: Emotional Clutter

Full disclosure: I have had this post idea in mind for months now. And when I finally decided to start writing it, life gave me a big fat "here's some more stuff for you to handle in case you were getting too comfortable." I felt cheated. I held a grudge. And how could I write about how to handle emotional clutter when I couldn't even handle my own?

Emotional clutter can include holding grudges, toxic relationships with people, hurtful thoughts towards someone, heartbreak, etc. And it's not easy to get over. And you're always going to run into yet another situation that causes you to have negative feelings. But holding onto it only causes more stress in your life, and you may be taking that out by finding solace in shopping or turning on other people around you.

I've found that you have three options:

Change the situation.
My best friend now is the same girl I was fighting with over a guy that we both liked. When I first found out they had started dating, I was obviously angry and didn't like her even though I didn't even know her! After a few weeks, I realized that the more I was angry about it and talked about it, the angrier I got, and it was starting to take over my attitude. So I made the effort to have a casual conversation with her one day. We found out that we have similar personalities and could actually spend time with one another (and, as they say, the rest is history). It's easy to be angry, but changing your attitude brings the greatest peace.

You may not have control over what happens to you, but you have control over how you react to it. Sure, it's okay to be upset for a bit, but holding onto those emotions just weighs you down. Whether it's a friend who starts dating the same guy you like, or you're not on speaking terms with a relative, you'll feel so much better if you figure out how to change the situation instead of letting it control you.

Accept the situation.
There are so many things out of our control that we just have to accept. Back when I was applying to colleges, I didn't get into my dream school. At first I was heartbroken and began to blame others for not getting what I thought I deserved. But after accepting another offer and looking at the the engineering degree, I realized that it was the better decision for me and my career path in the long run. The same could be applied for other situations, such as getting fired from a job - accept what just happened and look into your new options to find a new positive.

Tony Snow once wrote, "We want lives of simple, predictable ease - smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see - but God likes to go off-road." Whenever something happens that you don't understand, sometimes the only thing that helps to accept it is to know that God has bigger plans for you, and that someday you may look back and realize exactly what He was doing. 

Walk away from the situation.

Unfortunately, there are some things that put too much burden on us. I've had to walk away from a really long friendship because it turned into something that hurt me more than it made me happy. When it involves other people, it's important to remember that we can't change them, no matter how much we wish we could.

Many minimalists will tell you that they were working at a big corporation, making six figures, but it was so stressful and put so much strain on their body that they decided to quit and start doing something else they enjoyed more. Sometimes it's hard to walk away from so tantalizing, but that's exactly the time when choosing something else is more rewarding.


It is possible to live with less - less stress, less disappointment, less bitterness - if you choose one of those three routes. It definitely takes time and practice, but even starting with the smaller things can bring a healthier lifestyle.

Other things to keep in mind:

• Sleep is your friend. Before doing anything rash, sleep on it. Many times a good night's sleep is all you need to calm down and move on. 
• It's easy to blame others. The truth is, it might be your fault. It might be no one's fault. Don't hurt someone else just because you're hurting too.
• Surround yourself with happy people. There's nothing better to turn an attitude around like simply being happy.

So how did I get over that big fat emotional garbage bag I mentioned in the beginning? I was upset for a long time. But my mom told me that I can walk away knowing that I've had to work hard for what I've accomplished, and that it wasn't just handed to me. And that right there is something to be proud of. So I accepted the situation and walked away with less burden on my shoulders.



Please, if you or a loved one are experiencing deeper emotional clutter such as depression, please call 211 to get connected or go to https://www.7cups.com/ to simply talk to someone.